Healer, Heal Me

Hubster and I belong to a large corporate HMO provided through his place of employment. We have benefited from it greatly. Both he and I have seen the inside of the ER, logged up plenty of doctor visits for various illnesses and injuries and taken advantage of their pharmacy and radiology departments. So in no way do I wish ill will or mass destruction on the institution. They have served us well.
But... when I received my cancer diagnosis, I knew I had to be well informed about treatments and procedures. This was a major life changing decision I would make - one that would impact not only me but my circle of family and friends. I needed to explore all my options.
After the conventional medicine follow-up tests, I was immediately placed in the cue for appointments with a surgeon and oncologist and offered a visit to a radiologist. I turned that one down. I was getting overwhelmed.
Conventional medicine offers the trinity of treatment for cancer - chemotherapy, radiation and surgery. Sad to say, it is also known as cut, poison and burn.
Each doctor presents their method of treatment much like one would sell you a time share. You go in their office, and after the prescribed welcome hand shake, they sit you down, tell you that you need their services and if you don't take advantage of their offer within 24 hours, your window of opportunity will be gone - oh and so will you...
Doctor Surgeon told me I had stage 3 cancer, needed surgery and gave me the colorful pleasant pamphlet showing the different methods of cutting out your colon, depending on where the cancer is located. The pictures showed happy, smiling doctors with happy, smiling patients before and after the procedure - oh, they were all artist rendered pictures - and gave a brief description of what would take place. Reminded me of the pamphlets you get when you buy into the new housing subdivision, shiny  new houses with shiny new lawns and pretty flowers. What they don't show you is how your subdivision is really going to look like when they are behind schedule and you still only have a foundation sunk in mud two months after you were scheduled to move in.

My picture showed a happy lady looking at her colostomy bag like it was a tattoo. Neat and easy.
I figured by the steady, controlled look on Doctor Surgeon's face that she was familiar with doing the surgery, but not so much the aftermath of what her patients went through after the deed was done.
After her pitch, I kindly let her know that I was contemplating a naturopathic approach, gave her my research findings and assured her that I was under the care of a licensed educated naturopathic doctor and not doing the witch doctor approach with bones and eyes of newt. Her eyes took on a glazed and guarded look, let me know that there was no founded studies "out there" that supported naturopathic cancer treatments, told me that she could not accept my decision and sent me on my way with a pronouncement that I'd probably be back like the others too sick for her to save.
My next appointment was with the oncologist. He was an older, serious man who cut to the chase, told me  he'd read Dr. Surgeon's report and knew of my "alternative treatment plan". He offered me his treatment - 5-FU chemotherapy along with radiation at the same time. He told me that there would be side effects - hair loss, nausea, diarrhea, severe anemia, low immunity to other illnesses, and although they don't know why, my hands and feet would turn red and blister. Oh, and the radiation? Just imagine an enema with acid... need I say more? He sent me on my way with a little more compassion. He let me know he could not agree with my alternative approach, but wished me well and would support my decision - because it was my decision.
So, I came away thinking - I have a better chance of dying from the treatments rather than the cancer.
Next: Healer, Heal Me - Part 2

Carbs and Salads

What wouldn't we give for

That extra bit more

That's all we live for

Why should we be fated to do

Nothing but brood on food

Magical food,

Wonderful food,

Heavenly food,

Beautiful food,

Food, Glourious food glororious fooooooood

What are we waiting for?.............FOOOOOOODDD!

Lyrics from Oliver

I'm a bit of a foodie. 

I enjoy cooking it and eating it. I enjoy watching the Food Chanel even if I can't eat much of what they prepare. Needless to say, before my "adventure", my weight was a wee tad on the heaver side of optimum for my height. My blood pressure - on the higher side of normal.

After Hubster had his heart attack, see link - http://verbalismbuffet.blogspot.com/2013/07/have-heart.html I decided that we would face the music. Our diet - although not bad, needed an adjustment. We began with smaller portions and more fruit and veggies.  We both lost a little weight. Off to a good start.

And then my world flipped upside down in January of 2014 with the cancer diagnosis. I knew it was all out war. Cancer or me. One was going down. I'm a fighter. Ain't no cancer gonna do me in. 
First course of action - vitamins and minerals to strengthen my immune system and extreme diet change. My naturopathic doctor (ND) put me on a reeeeally low carb diet. We're talkin' 35 grams a day low carb diet. 

If you go online, you'll get conventional doctors who argue that sugar does not feed cancer. Of course most of them in their medical studies are not required to take nutrition classes. On the other hand, naturopathic doctors do study nutrition. They understand the connection between what we eat and how our bodies process what we put in our mouths. Seems like a no brainer to me. 

Simple carbs turn into sugar. http://howtothinkthin.com/instincts2.htm
 Bottom line. Cancer does feed on sugar. http://www.naturalnews.com/024827_cancer_sugar_women.html
 So what does a low carb diet look like? At first - hell. No pasta, starches (potatoes, rice) bread, sweets, fruit - comfort food. Out went mac and cheese and cheese cake. Spaghetti Factory and Olive Garden? Nope. Instead, the salad bar became my best friend. And you know what? My body began to thank me. I lost a ton of weight. The pounds melted off of me. I began to feel better and had more energy. Sure it was hard. 

I whined a lot - glared at people who slurped down spaghetti noodles and chased it with thick slices of sour dough bread.

There were melt downs when fast fix chemo/radiation seemed better. Get it over with. Fill me with poisonous chemicals and  burning radiation. But thankfully the voice of reason (aka G~d) would remind me that His ways for me might be long and hard and restrictive, but in the long run, best. Did I want side effects which produce side effects or did I want one step at a time healthy alternatives that might take a lifetime? Quality of life won. And let me stop right here for a moment. I am not advocating my choices for everyone. This is the direction, after much prayer and thought, I have chosen to go. If you are or have gone the chemo/radiation route, may you have much success. May your life be full and long. We're all in a journey. This is the direction I'm to go in.
Next: So what treatment are you doing? 

Soul Clutter

Above all else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life's consequences. Proverbs 4:23

Collecting comes naturally to me. It's in my DNA. When my father passed, we plowed through paper piles - speeches, sermons, research material and photo magazines. My mother, on the other hand saved coupons, clipped recipes; collected canned food,toilet paper and paper towels. The latter, I think because she lived through the depression. I've heard similar stories of children cleaning out their parents homes to find a larder of staples. 

I find that the rule of thumb is this:

No matter what you throw out, you'll need it the next day.

So, it makes sense to hang on to it. Saves money. Don't you think?

This doesn't work for spiritual and emotional clutter, however. Our bodies were not created to collect mental, emotional and spiritual baggage. There have been many studies done, and the conclusion is the same - our mental, emotional and spiritual health dove-tails with our physical health. It's been found that many cancers, along with other physical maladies can be linked to a previous traumatic experience or unforgiveness. 

So it came as no surprise to me that this would need to be my next course of action in my healing journey. A spiritual and emotional clean out was in order. The cupboards and drawers of my soul needed de-cluttering. Anger, resentments, unforgiveness, what ifs, cares and worries had to go.  

I am so very grateful that my Heavenly Abba (daddy) is kind, compassionate, merciful and gentle with me. My time of soul searching and cleansing was guided. Never did I feel overwhelmed. After all, G~d is holistic and the Master Physician. He knew that to create a healing environment within my body, He needed to create a healing environment within my soul. I was safe in His Hands.

The holistic healing process is slow, steady, gradual. It doesn't happen overnight. Unlike conventional medicine - take a pill or do a procedure for immediate relief in spite of the long term damaging effects, my journey is a process. Its all about repairing and restoring; well being and wholeness. 

I can't have a hidden junk drawer. Life happens. New things try to replace the old. My job is to fill my soul with things that nurture and heal.

Here are tools that help me in renewing my mind:

• Everyone has a story. When someone makes me angry, I determine that their actions or words come from what they are dealing with themselves. 
• Even if someone truly hurt me and I have every right to be angry with them, will rehearsing the deed create an environment of peace within me? Will wishing ill will upon them change what has already happened to me?
• In most cases, the person who has wronged me, has put it out of their mind and they've moved on. It's me who remains in a thought prison bound to re-live the deed. My anger, resentment and unforgiveness changes my body chemistry, not theirs. 
• G~d is on my side. He has not caused my misfortune. He may have allowed it, but like one watching a parade from the Good Year Blimp, He sees the beginning as well as the end. 
• Most things I worry about never happen. And if they do, G~d is there to walk with me and give me what I need to get through it.
• Melt downs are inevitable. When I have one, I allow myself the tears and fears for a moment and then pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.
• I talk to myself. Yup! I really do. Out loud, even. But then again, so did King David. Read the Psalms. He was always talking to his soul. 

Prayer, deep breathing, listening to soothing music, aromatherapy, good trustworthy friends, good deeds, petting my cat, laughing, crafts... Things that occupy my mind, fill my soul, make me smile - these produce the chemicals that my body needs to create healing.

Next: I can't eat that either??