Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Hospital Tours

To recap - the Hubster is in the hospital. Diagnosis - heart attack.
No food for you.
Thursday Chinese dinner was becoming a fleeting memory, but a necessary one. He would have to rely on memories of food and water because he was now in fast mode.
 He had IVs in both arms and various poke marks on the back of his hands from blood draws. He probably wouldn't have wanted to drink - leaking issues, don't you know.
Next step - a heart catherterization. His father had one back in the 80s. It was painful.
But, this was the way to see what was going on with his heart.
The hospital he was at was booked up for the procedure and they wanted it done sooner rather than later, so he'd be transported via ambulance to a hospital in another city - about 30 minutes away.
Oh boy, an ambulance ride!
The EMT team came in, made us all laugh with their banter, strapped him in and off he went. I followed by car.
Then I waited. That's hard. The waiting room was cold, no one answered the phone to the nurses station, so I would know what was happening. Did they take him in already? Was he waiting in the bay for his turn ? I pulled out my computer and worked on a project. No use trying to make something happen. I waited. And then, I tried the phone one more time. Sorry, but I'm not a good waiter when I don't have information to go on. The nurse, in a cheery voice told me to come on back. He was done with the procedure. I knew he would have a small amount of sedation, so I expected him to be out of it. But there he was, like nothing had happened, except two nurses were busy around him checking monitors and his wrist. This is where they snaked a thin wire up the artery, injected contrast dye and then watched where it went within the various arteries and veins in his heart.
He was having a good time chatting up the nurses. He mentioned that when they were ready to start the procedure, the tune that was playing over the sound system was, "Highway to Hell." The nurse, with a laugh, apologized and said it was a radio station - no control over the play list. The party was in the recovery bay. The doctor came in, said everything went as planned, a major artery was around 90-95% blocked and the next step would be to have a stent placed in the artery.
After everything checked out, his transport was called for the trip back to the first hospital. When they arrived, the party continued. The two EMT gals (young and cute), two nurses, myself and Hubster who was sitting on the side of the bed spent, oh, around twenty minutes chatting and laughing - like we'd met friends at a mall.
"Well, you ready to head back?" says one of the EMTs.
"Sure, why not, I'm not dressed for a night out on the town."
Back to Hotel Hospital Number One.
Next: Another Night, Another Interruption. Or, What's So Special About Sleep Anyway?

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Have a Heart

Last Thursday the Hubster and I went to our favorite little dive for Chinese food. On the way home, the conversation went like this:
Hub - "So, what are your plans tonight."
Me - "Nothing. I'm gonna kick off my shoes and relax."
Hub - "What would you think about spending some time at ER?"
Okay, this is serious. He'd mentioned the previous Friday that his lungs ached and he figured it was a new form of heartburn. He'd just downed a few chicken hotdogs on bread for a snack. The following week he'd experienced a bit of the same thing off and on. Now on our way home, he said it was getting uncomfortable. He figured he'd dash in, get some antacid pills and be on his way.
Since the hospital is about a quarter mile from where we live, he had me drop him off while I drove home with the leftovers for the fridge. By the time I came back and parked - maybe around 15 minutes, he was already in a room with blood drawn for testing. He's been in ER twice before in the course of 5 years with pains in his chest, but this time he got the red carpet treatment. Maybe they looked at his face and knew this was serious. And this is the first time they did the blood test. Before, he had the standard EKG, and lots of questions. The last time, they kept him overnight for observation and a stress test and pronounced him healthy.
The blood test came back positive for a cardiac enzyme that says heart distress.
He was having a heart attack.
I made the mistake of asking the ER doctor if it was a minor heart attack. Bless his heart, he came around the bed, leaned over towards me and with his very serious doctor voice said, "ma'am, there is no such thing as a minor heart attack." He went on to say that they come in two styles, one can be detected by the external tests, stress, EKG - the ones that monitor the rhythims of the heart. The other, they call the silent ones. The heart looks normal on paper, beats normal and strong, but the arteries are not getting the blood they need. He said these are the deadly ones.
So, we figured that the other 2 times we went to the ER, Hubster's heart was telling him, "hey we have issues here - just giving you the heads-up." But they didn't test his blood for the enzyme.
By midnight, he was shipped to telemetry for a possible heart catheterization.
I left around 2:30AM and returned at 7:30AM to see what the new day held.
Next time - Hospital Tours.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Fortune Telling

I recently submitted a book manuscript to a publisher. Now I wait. Oh, how I hate to wait.
So, I'm sitting in my place of meditation - the bathtub and I begin to think and pray. 
"Lord, I'd sure like to know if my book will be accepted."
Now, if I were writing this for a scene, it would go something like this:
"Yes, my daughter. Your book will be accepted. They will love it and it will launch you into a life of financial security."
I love it when G~d is a fortune teller. Makes life so much easier. And, of course, He never gives bad news, unless it comes from someone else.
"No, my daughter, your book is being used as the morning joke of the day and it will plunge you into deep depression when they tell you to keep your day job."

Anyone remember Johnny Carson's Amazing Carnac? He'd have a stack of envelopes, lay one on the side of his head, tear the envelope open, blow into it, state the answer that came to his mind and then read the question written on the card inside.

Back to my bathtub meditations.
"L~rd, I'd love it if You'd tell me if my book will be accepted." I wait.
"Loose meat sandwiches."
"Loose meat sandwiches?" Oh, yeah, that's what I'm making for dinner tonight.
I wait some more.
"The water just went off in the backyard."
Now, I'm sure I could come up with something spiritual but -
Lets face it, someone who's ADD has no business trying the "word from the L~rd" approach.

All this falderah and fiddle dee dee to say, I think we need to be so careful about accepting everything that comes out of our heads or mouths when we pray. 
There are times when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that G~d has spoken to me. And it usually comes in sets. I read a scripture, then hear a sound bite, or someone will tell me something that confirms. It rarely comes alone. And if someone tells me something about my future, you best better believe I will wait for a confirmation.
Usually, when I ask for an answer about my future, or my life I get:
Trust in ADONAI with all your heart; do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him; then he will level your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 (CJB)

Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze on what lies in front of you.  Level the path for your feet, let all your ways be properly prepared;
then deviate neither right nor left; and keep your foot far from evil.  Proverbs 4:25-27 (CJB)

Sunday, July 21, 2013



a : very different from the usual or traditional : extreme
b : favoring extreme changes in existing views, habits, conditions, or institutions
c : associated with political views, practices, and policies of extreme change
d : advocating extreme measures to retain or restore a political state of affairs radical
slang : excellent, cool 
~Merriam Webster~

Every generation or movement has a buzzword, it seems - especially when it comes to Christianese - a new way to approach G~d, a new direction that the church must go in to reach the unsaved, or unchurched, or people in general for that matter. 
Back in the 70s it was cool to be a "Jesus Freak", one who was "sold out" which turned into "souled out".

Now its "radical". We must all be RADICAL for G~d.

But to be honest, the word has lost its luster. Maybe the first person who came up with being a "radical Believer" had a revelation. But now, as with any "movement", it becomes a buzzword rather than a genuine experience. If you're not radical, you must not be hearing from G~d. If you don't have a radical walk with G~d, you need to find out what you're doing wrong. As usual, a word becomes a weapon. "My revelation is better than your revelation."
Here's were I pull out my "I'm getting too old for that" card. And I hated it when my elders use to say that to me.
But here goes.
 I remember back in the 70s when I got caught up in all the buzzwords. I worked and prayed and cried and felt oh so guilty when I was told I just needed to work and pray and cry a little more. I spent my time seeking out the people and churches and movements that had a new revelation. Places and people who were "on fire for G~d".

Where are those movements and churches and people now? Where am I now?
A precious few made a big difference and are in the history books. But most who tried so hard to follow the buzzwords of the day found that words mean nothing, movements come and go and they are now living day to day fulfilling a steady, uneventful life doing exactly what they are suppose to do - loving G~d and each other without the fireworks, and fanfare.
I no longer feel guilty when I'm told I have to have a radical life and a radical experience with G~d. I've lived long enough with G~d to know He doesn't require extreme. I don't have to be just like John the Immerser, or Elijah, or Moses. What He asks from me is a relationship that is steady, consistent and stable. One that is not built on emotion and pyrotechnics and is over the edge. Instead He wants me to love and honor my husband, teach and train my grandchildren in His ways, take care of those He puts in my path, pass along smiles to people I see on the street or at SaveMart. 
Yes, there are a few that are called to do the "radical" things, but most of us are called to be the moderates and tempered.

Isaiah 30:15 (CJB) " For this is what Adonai ELOHIM, the Holy One of Isra'el, says: "Returning and resting is what will save you; calmness and confidence will make you strong.."