Soul Clutter

Above all else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life's consequences. Proverbs 4:23

Collecting comes naturally to me. It's in my DNA. When my father passed, we plowed through paper piles - speeches, sermons, research material and photo magazines. My mother, on the other hand saved coupons, clipped recipes; collected canned food,toilet paper and paper towels. The latter, I think because she lived through the depression. I've heard similar stories of children cleaning out their parents homes to find a larder of staples. 

I find that the rule of thumb is this:

No matter what you throw out, you'll need it the next day.

So, it makes sense to hang on to it. Saves money. Don't you think?

This doesn't work for spiritual and emotional clutter, however. Our bodies were not created to collect mental, emotional and spiritual baggage. There have been many studies done, and the conclusion is the same - our mental, emotional and spiritual health dove-tails with our physical health. It's been found that many cancers, along with other physical maladies can be linked to a previous traumatic experience or unforgiveness. 

So it came as no surprise to me that this would need to be my next course of action in my healing journey. A spiritual and emotional clean out was in order. The cupboards and drawers of my soul needed de-cluttering. Anger, resentments, unforgiveness, what ifs, cares and worries had to go.  

I am so very grateful that my Heavenly Abba (daddy) is kind, compassionate, merciful and gentle with me. My time of soul searching and cleansing was guided. Never did I feel overwhelmed. After all, G~d is holistic and the Master Physician. He knew that to create a healing environment within my body, He needed to create a healing environment within my soul. I was safe in His Hands.

The holistic healing process is slow, steady, gradual. It doesn't happen overnight. Unlike conventional medicine - take a pill or do a procedure for immediate relief in spite of the long term damaging effects, my journey is a process. Its all about repairing and restoring; well being and wholeness. 

I can't have a hidden junk drawer. Life happens. New things try to replace the old. My job is to fill my soul with things that nurture and heal.

Here are tools that help me in renewing my mind:

• Everyone has a story. When someone makes me angry, I determine that their actions or words come from what they are dealing with themselves. 
• Even if someone truly hurt me and I have every right to be angry with them, will rehearsing the deed create an environment of peace within me? Will wishing ill will upon them change what has already happened to me?
• In most cases, the person who has wronged me, has put it out of their mind and they've moved on. It's me who remains in a thought prison bound to re-live the deed. My anger, resentment and unforgiveness changes my body chemistry, not theirs. 
• G~d is on my side. He has not caused my misfortune. He may have allowed it, but like one watching a parade from the Good Year Blimp, He sees the beginning as well as the end. 
• Most things I worry about never happen. And if they do, G~d is there to walk with me and give me what I need to get through it.
• Melt downs are inevitable. When I have one, I allow myself the tears and fears for a moment and then pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.
• I talk to myself. Yup! I really do. Out loud, even. But then again, so did King David. Read the Psalms. He was always talking to his soul. 

Prayer, deep breathing, listening to soothing music, aromatherapy, good trustworthy friends, good deeds, petting my cat, laughing, crafts... Things that occupy my mind, fill my soul, make me smile - these produce the chemicals that my body needs to create healing.

Next: I can't eat that either??

Trust In The LORD

"Cancer is but one of the many ways the body tries to change the way you see and treat yourself, including your body. This inevitably brings up the subject of spiritual health, which plays at least as important a role in cancer as physical and emotional reasons do."  Andreas Moritz

I have choices and I have time. I have Heaven on my side, and I have people who care for me.

I knew I couldn't be pressured into making life changing decisions without lots of prayer and support.  

My surgeon, void of compassion, gave me the grim battle plan. Due to the nature of where the mass is located, I would have to endure chemo (hair loss, blisters on my hands and feet, nausea, diarrhea...) and radiation (think an acid enema - chemical burn in the place the sun don't shine) at the same time, then, the lower portion of my colon (rectum) removed and for the rest of my life have to wear a colostomy bag. And yes, I know that there are worse things others deal with and, yes, if this is my fate, I'll woman up and deal with it. 

Everything was said, probed, tested and done. The ball was in my court.

I have Heaven on my side.

My first course of action was to take Hezekiah's example. He was a King in Israel and received bad news.

And Hezekiah received the letter from the hand of the messengers, and read it; and Hezekiah went up unto the house of the LORD, and spread it before the LORD. 

  And Hezekiah prayed unto the LORD...   Isaiah 37:14-15

Then I waited. 

 G~d is faithful.

I began to receive verses from scripture. Not the hunt around and find something kind of thing. I've done that before. I ended up with...

Flip, flip, flip, close your eyes, point - "And Judas went and hung himself."

Flip, flip, flip, close your eyes, point - "Go and do likewise."

No, this was the "you know it's a supernatural thing". I'd be watching TV and a scripture reference would pop into my mind. I'd look it up and it would address the very thing I'd just prayed about - mostly a concern or fear. This happened several times.

And I'm not one to hear the voice of G~d on a regular basis.

Along with the verses, I'd be reading - scanning actually, a book or article and something would pop out. Something that addressed the very question I'd just had. Or, my mind would go into a mini melt down and I'd doubt my decisions or path I felt I was to walk, grab one of the books my naturopathic doctor, or a friend 

had recommended, open a random page and, bingo, the sentence that addressed my concern would jump out at me. 

Coincidence or coinkidinkles? Nope.

Next: I have people who care.